When yo man clean the casa bonita, ya gotta reward him with a little hanky panky… or, if you’re practicing abstinence, pizza is a good alternative. But don’t succumb to eating cow pus cheese and pizza dough filled with egg cholesterol (you want your man to keep his balls, don’t you?)

Make this shit instead! (Recipe Below👇)


-Pizza dough-

I used this recipe from DietHood (http://diethood.com/yeast-free-pizza-dough/)


2-1/2 cups all-purpose flour

3 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

3/4-cup + 2 tablespoons water

1 tablespoon canola oil

  1. In a mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder and salt; whisk until thoroughly combined and set aside.
  2. Combine water and oil in a separate bowl or cup; stir to combine.
  3. Slowly add water mixture to the flour mixture.
  4. Using a wooden spoon, or your hands, gently stir and mix until dough forms a ball; dough should be soft, but not sticky. Add more water if it’s too dry, 1 tablespoon at a time. If it’s too sticky, add more flour.
  5. Lightly flour your work area and knead dough for 5 minutes.
  6. Line a baking sheet or a pizza pan with foil and lightly spray it with cooking spray.
  7. Spread pizza dough on the prepared pan, using the palm of your hands and fingers to stretch it out to about a 1-inch thickness.
  8. Grill or bake in a 400-degree oven for 15 to 20 minutes, or until lightly browned.


* * * But I did add about 1/4 cup of wheat gluten, half the oil and I put it in a deep dish pan. Baked the crust for about 8 minutes on 400°, took it out, added the toppings, then shoved it back in there for another 15 minutes.

For the toppings-

I used the Simple Truth brand vegan chick’n strips, chopped olives, roasted garlic, pizza sauce with browned onions and my bomb ass cheez recipe-

1/2 cup raw cashews
1 1/2 cup water
1 teaspoon salt
3 tbsp nutritional yeast
1 tsp white miso paste
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp onion powder
2 tbsp tapioca starch

Blend on high in a powerful wizard blender until completely smooth. It will be watery. Pour into a small saucepan and turn heat on low/med, stir and stir like a mofo. In a few minutes it’ll start lumping up, keep stirring until it becomes creamy, stretchy and smooth (about 5-7 minutes total).

* * * You can also add 2tbsp of tapioca starch per cup of this👇 cheese recipe I made if you need a nut free version of cheese on this pizza:


And viola! Eat up, ya little lover piggies!

❤ Cogey from Cooking Without Carcasses


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